Behavior Management at New View: Supporting Big Feelings, Growing Strong Skills

At New View, we believe that behavior is communication. Every action, whether joyful, challenging, or confusing, is a child’s way of telling us something. When we talk about “behavior management,” we’re not focused on control—we’re focused on understanding, connection, and teaching skills that help children thrive.

First Things First: What Is a Problem Behavior?

Before we ever respond to a behavior, we ask:

Who is the behavior a problem for?

Is it disruptive? Is it dangerous? Or is it simply unexpected in the moment?

We look at the context in which a behavior happens. A behavior may seem inappropriate in one situation but perfectly appropriate in another. Take hitting, for example:

  • Inappropriate context: A child hits a peer to get their attention.
  • Appropriate context: A child hits in self-defense when another child becomes physically aggressive.

Understanding the why behind the behavior helps us respond with compassion and effectiveness, not just consequences.

Developmentally Appropriate or Truly Concerning?

Many behaviors labeled as “problematic” are actually developmentally typical for young children—especially between the ages of 2 to 6. For example:

  • A 2-year-old biting when frustrated.
  • A 3-year-old having a meltdown over a broken crayon.
  • A 4-year-old yelling “NO!” when asked to stop playing.
  • A 5-year-old running away during a transition.
  • A 6-year-old slamming a door when told it’s time to clean up.

These behaviors, while challenging, are often expressions of emotion that children don’t yet know how to manage. We take into account:

  • How often the behavior is occurring.
  • Whether it’s developmentally expected.
  • The impact it’s having on the child’s ability to participate in daily routines, access learning, and maintain relationships.
  • Whether it is causing lasting emotional or physical harm.

We use the following classification system to guide our approach:

Precursor Behaviors

Early signs of frustration or distress:

  • Grunting
  • Crossing arms
  • Turning away
  • Stomping a foot

These are valuable communication signals and opportunities to intervene early.

Mild Behaviors

Behaviors that typically cause minimal or no harm:

  • Crying
  • Verbal refusal (“No!” or “I don’t want to!”)
  • Swiping items
  • Light scratching or pinching

Severe Behaviors

Behaviors that involve more serious physical risk to the child or others:

  • Biting
  • Punching
  • Breaking objects
  • Running out of the building (elopement)

Note: A single behavior (like hitting) can exist at any of these levels, depending on the intensity and impact.

Once we’ve identified behaviors that need support, we collaborate with families to build a clear, personalized behavior support plan. This plan includes both preventative strategies and reactive strategies, so children get what they need before, during, and after challenging moments.

Preventative Strategies

Preventative approaches focus on reducing the likelihood that challenging behaviors will occur in the first place. Here’s how we do it:

  • Honor their preferences – We provide opportunities for children to engage in activities they enjoy in the way that works best for them. Example: If a child loves water play but prefers to do it solo, we offer quiet time at the water table instead of group play.
  • Model emotional regulation. – Children learn by watching. We model how to handle frustration or disappointment. Example: “Ugh, that’s frustrating! I’m going to stomp it out and then get help.”
  • Teach toleration gradually. We practice handling tricky situations—like waiting, turn-taking, or hearing “no”—through small, supported steps. Example: “You can pick a book to look at while you wait for your turn with the bike.”
  • Adapt the environment. We make changes to reduce stressors that can overwhelm a child’s nervous system:
    • Using headphone for loud settings
    • Covering bright fluorescent lights
    • Offering fidgets or sensory breaks

Reactive Strategies

When big feelings do happen, our focus is on co-regulation, safety, and compassion.

  • Co-regulation – We stay present, grounded, and calm—offering a steady emotional anchor while the child processes their emotions.
  • Offer support tools – Tools like ice packs, sensory bins, weighted blankets, or playdough are always available—not just during escalated moments.
  • Maintain safety – If needed, we move other children away or block access to unsafe items. We do not use restraint or seclusion at New View.

What We Don’t Do: Teach in the Heat of the Moment

When a child is overwhelmed, their brain shifts into survival mode. The areas responsible for processing language and reasoning become less active—this is a biological response to stress.

Rather than trying to explain or correct behavior in the moment, we:

  • Keep talking to a minimum.
  • Focus on being calm and present.
  • Return to the situation later to reflect, repair, and teach.
  • We work through the moment first. The teaching comes after.

At New View, our approach to behavior management is rooted in understanding, empathy, and skill-building. Every behavior tells a story—and when we take the time to listen, we can help children write new chapters filled with growth, resilience, and joy.